Everywhere there are saint patrick day things going on. to me it's a depressing day. it's the day my daughter was born and died. she would be 25 today. i dream sometimes of what she would look like or what type of person she would be. you would think after so many years the pain would be less, but it's not. and it's not a pain you can share with anyone. there is nobody that can share your pain. nobody else carried her for 8 mnths and talked with her, read and sang to her and grew to love her even before meeting her even before you knew she was a she. then the worst of all not getting to hold her, count her toes and fingers and feel her wiggle in your arms.sorry folks (if there is anyone that reads my crap) the past two entries have been really whiney and "oh poor me". this is not the type of person i usually am and i'll get back to normal soon.
then maybe i'll have some interesting topics to write about.
2 comments:
I cried when i read this..but NO i have never forgotten Tiffany and never will. When I think of Tony I wonder if he would have her dancing by now...that may sound cruel but i hope he never had any daughters....or sons for that matter....but i also know that the hurt will always be there ..I wonder if the two i lost would have been sons ...but now i have 5 gransons so god made up for that didn't he.
MOM, you've got to quit taking the world of your children on your shoulders. You have NOTHING to feel guilty about. Anything that happened in the past needs to stay there. there is no use beating yourself or anybody else up for it. But it helps everynow and then to bitch a little while and then let it go.
the previous post was regarding mr. c.
I love you and know i can pick up the phone to talk anytime.
I was just needing to feel sorry for myself for a while and used my blog to voice it.
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